Where the Streets Have no Name....

So, I took Hayikan on as a home school student three days a week for 1.5 hour sessions, starting at 4. It has been rather interesting and pretty sad.

Day One:
My school did not feel it safe for me to go into Hayikan's home, so therefore we are meeting at a neutral location, which apparently is a halfway house for narcotics anonymous. I completely support what they are doing at this location, although its just down the street from his home, so its still not exactly the safest local. Mom shows up, Hayikan is excited to see me. He tells me how he misses his dad because he's visiting Grandma, but said his Mom said Dad will be home soon. He is talking to his "friends" throughout the entire lesson. He asked me if I ever had an imaginary friend, and I said, yes I did have a friend once and her name was Megan (short for Megan Sugarjuicertrucker). He confided that he's friends are from under the ground and that God didnt make his friends, which was upsetting to hear him say. Because he does have multiple personalities and hears voices, its hard to know which kid you are teaching. It was apparent on this day, that I was working with the real Hayikan. Mom takes him to church to cure him, and I hope one day it works. Until then, this poor little boy believes he is possessed by the devil instead of getting help for his mental illness. At one point, he was talking to his friends so much and I couldnt get any instruction in soI asked him to ask one of them what the answer to the math problem was (and he got it right!).
We completed our session and waited for Mom outside, when he proceeded to yell at me that he "HAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" He persisted that he could just go in the bushes because his mom lets him. Considering my location, I didnt really want to wander this house looking for a bathroom. It was really embarrassing being the minority, with about 30 men sitting outside this house watching me get yelled at by this little boy and see how I would handle it. We did find a bathroom and as I waited for him to come out, Mom came in. She talked to me for about 5 min while Hayikan was playing in the water. When we got outside to her car, she had her 8 month old and 6 year old sitting in the front seat, unsupervised, windows down, doors unlocked. Baby was in a car seat, but was not buckled in, Hayikan got in and the car rolled away with smiling grateful faces with no seat belts on. It was something I've never experienced to say the least.

Day Two:
We continued at the same location. Mom called at 4 and asked if we were meeting. I said I was already there and she informed me she needed to find Hayikan from the street and shed be right over, 20 min later, we began our session. Mom asked to watch and respectfully sat in the back while I worked with a grouchy Hayikan. He does not understand that he is punished from school and thinks he's on summer vacation. He was "mad Hayikan" which he told me before is "a white man inside him"(whatever that means) and proceeded to berate me. It was nice that his mom got to see us interact. I have learned to completely ignore him and continue to repeat my question as if his "ugly hags" and "dumb b****" are inaudible. At the end of the session, Mom asked if he was always like that, and I said, yup, that's what we've been telling you since October. She then yelled at him to the point of tears about disrespecting me. It was very uncomfortable and made my guilt rise. I tell Hayikan that I care about him very much and can't wait to see him again, get in my car, and drive into my safe neighborhood, with my stable life, and go to dinner at a nice restaurant. Such is life.

Other happenings:
Pat's team made it to state finals but unfortunately lost at home.
I found out I will work most likely with the 4th and 5th grade, lower functioning kids next year!

Cheers.

Tiny Dancer...

On Monday, my class and I went on a field trip to Longwood Gardens! Its a beautiful park with tons to do. I've included pictures from the trip of some of the flowers that we saw.




My dancing days are not behind me and I find myself tip tapping around the hallways while waiting for the kids to finish in the bathroom. Eduardo has caught me doing my falaps and shuffles and now tries his gangly version of my tap dances! It is absolutely hilarious. I wish my school had a talent show, cause I think my kids would get a big kick out of me tap dancing. Who knows, maybe I'll get my mom to send me my shoes and I'll do a little jig for the kids..hahaha.

Finally, I'll post a picture of my latest painting. I've been trying to find ways to wind down after work. Pat gave me a beautiful paint set and easel for my birthday and I did my first picture in years last night. I'm a bit rusty, but it was a lot of fun.


Cheers.

Hoooomeward Bound, I wish I was, Hoooomeward Bound...

So, eventful little week. After his episode on the recess playground on my birthday, (the final of many) Hayikan has been deemed "too dangerous to himself and others." To complete the story of my birthday, Hayikan threw two desks, attempted to hurt me by twisting my arm several times, attempted to run away, and threw a chair at our big teddy bear of a man, Mr. White, who is called in for restraints. This was not even the most severe of his behaviors and I have been trying to get him into another setting for the safety of the other kids since October. It's May, and its finally being taken seriously! (mini victory for me!)
He is now on homebound instruction. What this means is that he will now be homeschooled until a spot opens up at the behavior institute to help him with his mental issues. What does that mean for me? I volunteered to be his homeschool teacher for 5 hours after school. I figured, I've come so far with him and I know his triggers and where he is academically, I can make the most of the 4 weeks (20 hours) I have left with the boy. It was also decided for my safety that we would meet at a neutral site (public library) so that I dont have to go into his home (phew!)
I'm pretty excited bc that means I'll have more money to put toward saving for a new car! Also, I'm pretty attached to the cause of Hayikan and hopefully in a one on one situation can make some academic and behavior breakthroughs. Finally, all my kids get more of my attention during the school day, which will do wonders for Kenan. I only wished they got more of my time more of the school year.

Other news, Pat's baseball team (he's the coach) are conference champs and will be playing in state. Because the coach is pretty cute, its been a lot of fun going to the ball park and watching from the sidelines.
My cousin, Danie, comes to visit from Joooisey tonight before she jets off to study in Paris. So jealous, and I cant wait to share with her the details from my trip overseas.
On Sunday, I'm going to Washington DC (just an hour's drive) to visit with a college friend, and watch a new Delaware friend, Maggie, ump her first game as an international field hockey umpire. She is just about as cool as they come.

Happy Friday! Cheers.

Just another Manic Monday...

So...I had this big long post giving everyone an overview on my kiddos to post on my birthday, but one of my lovely little ones, Hayikan, decided to wish me "a dumb birthday you old ugly hag, because I hate you and your heart." I can't lie, it got to me and thus worked my weekend to try and get over the emotion of being attacked by a 9 yr old on the recess playground.

But nonetheless, before I can enter you into the reality of my classroom, its important to start my first post, giving you a who's who of my class.

My graduated, newly certified-self moved her booty to Delaware to embark on adulthood. Living near my boyfriend, Pat, and Philadelphia <3, things all fell into place. I live in a little cottage guest house near a beautiful park in a wonderful part of town. It's truly a blessing to walk the dog (Pat's originally, but adopted as my own), Riley through the neighborhood and check out all the beautiful architecture of the homes around me.

Starkly contrasted, I work in a poorer part of town as a 3rd grade special education teacher. Keep in mind as I narrate my days all my kids are between 8-9. The homes my kids are from are sad and allow me to appreciate everything I have on a daily basis. My kids deal daily with the emotions that go along with drugs, abuse, illegally living in AMerica, homelessness, rape, poverty (none can afford the 75cent daily cost to eat at school) and multiple personalities. We had epic snow fall this past winter and most of my kids did not have winter coats, and did not play in the snow (or if they did, the most they had for the 8 degree weather were jeans, tennis shoes and old sweatshirts).

My school is wonderful in dealing with all these issues, because well, I'm just one teacher in a building with over 30 classrooms (preK-5th) and every kid here has a sad story. We have lots of funds to buy kids curriculum, clothing, snacks, and bus tokens.

All names of people for the sake of confidentiality have been changed.

I currently have just 6 kids in my classroom (9 if you count the three personalities of Hayikan).

Hayikan: Perhaps my most consuming child, Hayikan has three personas that fight with him all day long. He tries desperately to win the battle but is very angry when "his other friends in his head" win. My most exhausting child, he is the one I've put the most effort with. He also suffers from severe OCD and will shout nonstop for hours the same phrase. I leave my days with expressions such as "I have to go to the bathroom," "I hate you," "I dont wanna go outside," "I hate homework," ringing in my ears. To paint the picture further, it is at an earsplitting volume and I just have to teach over it. This last week, it was recorded that he screamed "I'm itchy," 102 times in a span of 45 minutes. He is still learning his letters and reverses all of his numbers, but with all that is going on in his head he is slowly able to learn. Hayikan is actually every intelligent and if his intellect wasnt focused on death or murder things would be a lot less creepy.
We work with Mom to try and get him outside help but the state makes it difficult if you yourself have difficulty with reading, organizing, and schedules. Dad is in jail, while Hayikan believes he is just hanging out at Grandma's. he once asked me if there were men with guns on my street and whether or not I was allowed to play outside. Personally, I believe a lot of his issues stem from his home environment, gun shots, drugs, but I have to continue to believe that Mom is doing the best job that she knows how.

Eduardo: The oldest of 5 with a 21 year old mother, Eduardo is my sunshine and my comedian. He is believed to be an illegal immigrant who was conceived under horrific circumstances. Mom was taken advantage of by her brother 8 years ago (as a 12 yr old). This has taught me that even good can happen from bad, because Eduardo draws me a picture everyday and is just an absolute wonderful little boy! This year, he has excelled leaps and bounds! He came in this year knowing no English and very little Spanish. Through this year, he has picked up so much, to the point, his mother has cried bc he no longer speaks Spanish. It was a bitter sweet excellence because I've helped him learn so much about the English world around him, he can no longer communicate with his Spanish-only speaking mother.

Maria: Also speaking little English, Maria can get herself around the classroom just fine. You actaully have to watch it because she has sticky fingers and can have a box of Kleenexes, Eduardo's glasses and all my pens in her book bag in 10 seconds. Maria is down syndrome and as sassy as they come, dressing in pink from head to toe and teasing my dad about his hair when he visited. She is one of my stronger readers and keeps me on my feet all day (shes my new workout plan).

Glen: My highest functioning child, I hope to see Glen in a regular education classroom in the near future. he can spell better that I can, do Math on grade level, and read with amazing intonation. He's about as big as me with a happy round face. Unfortunately, he forgets to pull up his pants before leaving the bathroom, tries to eat salads with spoons, and spills his milk daily. His mother is wonderful and has been a helpful lady in my many ways in my classroom.

Kenan: Kenan, also referred to as my mini-Kanye West, flirts with a room brightening smile. Although Kenan began my year by launching a shoe at my head, he needs a ton of teacher attention and most all my behavior strategies from my Master's program work with hiim (can't say the same for Hayikan). He is very typical attention getting emotional behavior disturbance. He can flick me off one minutes and tehn ask me to tie his shoe the next, whever gets my attention first (of course I try to give it only for the positive). he's working on his letetrs and simple math but he gets an A+ in street skills.

Javier: Javier holds my whole classroom together. when Hayikan is yelling at me most minutes, Glen gets upset and cries often. But Javier and his kind heart has picked this up and will say "Look at me Glen!!" and dance like a goofball, while I handle to situation. Eduardo will join in with an on key monkey impression, working together to keep Glen calm. I love them for it. The kindness of children still exists. Javier would be in a regular school if he was actually in school more.

Heaven, Jason, Manuel, and Jalel are no longer in my classroom. Heaven and Jason went to a school that focuesses more on functional and live skills and both are doing well in their current placements. Jason's absence has allowed a lot of my kdis to progress. he was non-verbal, jumped on a trampoline all day long for sensory, and screamed over and over again. Although I miss him, my brain has time to think.
Manuel was believed homeless and has been in 5 different schools as a kid that bounces from one couch to the next.
Jalel was a handful, violent, and the cause of a school lockdown. He was arrested twice and removed from campus in an ambulance for out of control behavior. Jalel was the most terrifying and the cause of a lot of tears. I hope the best for him because he really was a nice kid most of the time. He has since moved to his 9th school.

The days are never boring and its hard not to sound dramatic when a good day is only one kid told me they hated me. But there are moments of happiness and enjoyment. I've got my yoga studio, my new friends, and my boyfriend to thank for my sanity.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day Weekend! Thank you thank you thank you to all the wonderful mothers I know that raised wonderful students.

Love you all. Cheers.

The Beginning

Hello Family and Friends:

I dont get to talk to many of you and with the world wide net at my finger tips, I will begin my Jetson like communication via the screen!

What to Expect: My day to day doings in the classroom, Recommendations on the TVshows and music I love, well wishes to you all, samples of the book I'm writing for feedback!

Cheers to my last day as a 24 year old while looking forward to year 25!